Memoirs of a Captivity Among the Indians of North America, by John Dunn Hunter; 3rd edition (London: Longman, Hurst, Rees, Ohme, Brown, & Green, 1824)
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CHAP. VII.
COURTSHIP, MARRIAGE, WIDOWHOOD, POLYGAMY, DIVORCEMENTS, CONTINUANCE OF FAMILIES, ADOPTION OF CHILDREN, INDIANS NAMES, DISPOSITION OF THE INFIRM AND POOR.
The young Indians are led, both by precept and example, to adopt the married life; and instances of celibacy very rarely continue, more particularly on the part of the males, much beyond the period of mature puberty. Old bachelors, settled in their towns and villages, are a race of beings altogether unknown; I have, however, known a few, who led a wandering life, sometimes attaching themselves to one tribe, and sometimes to another, accordingly as they happen to be engaged in war. They are renowned warriors, and on that account much sought for whenever any hostile operations were to be carried on against the enemies of their country or its allies.
The Indians ascribe the cause of their not marrying to their love of glory, which is only to be acquired, in their opinion, by deeds of valour in the deadly combat; and "the possession of a family and fixed home," they say, "would restrain their inclinations and fetter their movements:" the squaws are not so liberal in their apologies for such anomalous conduct; but ascribe it either to moral or physical imperfections.
Early marriages are more frequent in the tribes bordering on the white settlements, than in those
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which are more remotely situated; and the practice is encouraged by the old men, with a view to diminish the tendency to habits of intercourse with the traders, &c. which is frequently followed by virulent diseases, that occasionally baffle all their skill in the healing art, and produce the most distressing consequences. The old Indians say, when they were young, that they did not marry, nor even think of being called men, till they were upwards of twenty winters old, and had distinguished themselves in recontres or engagements with the enemies of their tribe; that this innovation on their ancient customs, together with the use of ardent spirits, and their intercourse with the whites, had introduced many diseases among them that formerly were altogether unknown; enervated the warriors; caused the Indians to be more indolent, quarrelsome, and wicked; and materially shortened he period of their existence.
There is very little difference in the circumstances of the Indians generally, and as polygamy is tolerated to any extent commensurate with the means which the husband may possess for subsisting his family, an unmarried Indian woman over the age of twenty-three or four years, is very seldom to be met with in any of the tribes which I have visited. The females commonly marry at about the same age as the males, though sometimes much earlier in life. They esteem celibacy as a misfortune and disgrace, and indeed for a squaw to live perpetually single among the Indians, she must be possessed of a very forbidding person, as sometimes is the case from the effects of the small pox, or some other deforming disease, or of a demoniac dis-
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position, which tallies with the fact, whenever instances of the kind occur.
There is less restraint among the sexes in savage, than in civilized life: the Indians generally reside in towns, and the young men, when not engaged in war, hunting, travelling excursions, &c., have it in their power to, and do associate with the females; and although some of the tribes are more particular, and provide separate apartments for those of different sexes to sleep in; yet, among the largest portion, no arrangements of this kind are made; and the custom of males and females sleeping indiscriminately together in the same lodge, prevails without the thought or association of an idea of impropriety, or a breach of decorum. It was thus with the amiable Ruth of old, who lay at the feet of Boaz; and no doubt the same practice prevailed in all countries in the infancy of civilization. As this advanced, the contaminating influence of luxuries and refinement polluted the simplicity and purity of primeval manners, and deranged their harmony with the most atrocious crimes.
The custom which tolerates this intimacy among the Indians exists without producing any criminal desire; and we find chastity as common a virtue among those Indians who have not been corrupted by an intercourse with the whites, as it is, or ever has been, among any people on earth. Indeed, the reason why travellers, who have visited the Indians, so liberally accuse their females of an opposite trait of character, is not because they are less virtuous than the females of civilized life, but because their innocence and art-
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lessness render them more liable to become the dupes of accomplished villains; and because when they have transgressed, they do not become outcasts, but retain their standing in society; thus inducing the appearance that the practice is generally tolerated. Such, however, is not the fact among tribes remote from, and holding very little intercourse with the traders, &c., and but in a very limited degree so, where some of this class have exercised full sway to the extent of their power; and wherever such has been the case, great allowance ought to be made for the demoralising effect of ardent spirits, which, no doubt, have been a more potent negotiator, than ll others combined, including even their own natural propensities or desires; which, notwithstanding all that has been written by various authors, who pretend to be well acquainted with the subject, I do not believe are as great in general among the Indians, as are incident to civilised life. The difference in the modes of living, including food, amusements, and intercourse, I think, will support my opinion satisfactorily, in the minds of all who will take the trouble to investigate their influence.
Seduction is regarded as a despicable crime, and more blame is attached to the man, than to the woman, when instances of the kind occur: hence, the offence on the part of the female is more readily forgotten and forgiven, and she finds little or no difficulty, as before noticed, in forming a subsequent matrimonial alliance when deserted by her betrayer, who is generally regarded with distrust, and avoided in social intercourse.
Formerly, if what the Indians say may be relied on, illegitimate births seldom occurred in any of the
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tribes. But, since the white people have appeared among them, the character of their females has suffered a modification, and instances have become more frequent.
Though this is a subject for regret, it is not much to be wondered at, since base and profligate men successfully practice their seductives [sic] wiles, in all the various walks of civilised life; and since the patients to these artifices among the Indians have not had their minds fortified with those wholesome axioms that keep pace with crime in civilised society, no matter how rapid and bold it may stride.
It is considered disgraceful for a young Indian publicly to prefer one woman to another, until he has distinguished himself either in war or in the chace; though attachments between the sexes are frequently formed during childhood, which are as lasting as life, but are never made generally known until the candidates are thought fit subjects for, and about to enter into, the matrimonial state.
When a young Indian becomes attached to a female, he does not frequent the lodge of her parents, or visit her elsewhere, oftener, perhaps, than he would, provided no such attachment existed. Were he to pursue an opposite course before he had acquired either the reputation of a warrior or hunter, and suffer his attachments to be known or suspected by any personal attention, he would be sure to suffer the painful mortification of a rejection; he would become the derision of the warriors, and the contempt of the squaws. On meeting, however, she is the first, excepting the elderly people, who engages his respectful and kind
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enquiries; after which no conversation passes between them, except it be with the language of the eyes, which, even among savages, is eloquent, and appears to be well understood.
The next indication of serious intentions on the part of the young Indian, is his assumption of more industrious habits. He rises by day-break, and, with his gun or bow, visits the woods or prairies, in search of the most rare and esteemed game. He endeavours to acquire the character of an expert and industrious hunter, and whenever success has crowned his efforts, never fails to send the parents of the object of his affections, some of the choicest he has procured. His mother is generally the bearer, and she is sure to tell from what source it comes, and to dilate largely on the merits and excellencies of her son. The girl, on her part, exercises all her skill in preparing it for food, and, when it is cooked, frequently sends some of the most delicious pieces, accompanied by other small presents, such as nuts, mockasins, &c., to her lover. These negociations are usually carried on by the mothers of the respective parties, who consider them confidential, and seldom divulge them even to the remaining parents, except one or both of the candidates should be the offspring of a chief, when a deviation from this practice is exacted, and generally observed.
Instances sometimes happen wherein the parties themselves negotiate; but then, it is generally believed, the maternal parents are consulted, and are privy to their progress.
After an Indian has acquired the reputation of a warrior, expert hunter, or swift runner, he has little
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need of minor qualifications, or of much address or formality in forwarding his matrimonial views. The young squaws sometimes discover their attachments to those they love, by some act of tender regard; but more frequently through the kind offices of a confidant or friend. Such overtures generally succeed; but, should they fail, it is by no means considered disgraceful, or in the least disadvantageous to the female; on the contrary, should the object of her affections have distinguished himself, especially in battle, she is more esteemed, on account of the judgment she displayed in her partiality for a respectable and brave warrior. With such, the squaws generally deem a connection highly desirable and honourable; and it often happens, that the same individual finds himself favoured with an opportunity of making choice from several, which is seldom suffered to pass unimproved; indeed, I have known instances of their having accommodated the greatest part, and even the whole number of applicants, who entered upon their new relations, and discharged their respective duties, in the most perfect harmony and good fellowship.
A state of widowhood is extremely unpleasant among the squaws: I have repeatedly known them to meet a returning war party, at a considerable distance from their villages, and, finding their husbands had fallen in battle, after pulling their hair, tearing their flesh, and beating themselves in the most frantic manner, to lay siege to some favourite warrior, and not suffer him to depart till he had promised to revenge the death of their deceased husbands. Promises given in this manner, are considered as matrimonial engage-
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ments of the most sacred kind, and are never violated. After the death of her husband, the sooner a squaw marries again, the greater respect and regard she is considered to show for his memory; and should the subject of her recent connection be able individually to retaliate the promised revenge, it is considered the greatest possible mark of attachment, and a much greater favour than though her enemy had fallen by the same individual totally disconnected with her, or by the hand of some other person. Such a female courtier feels the mortification of a refusal much more sensibly than a maiden applicant, and laments it sincerely and deeply; because it deprives her of the opportunity of demonstrating the strength of her attachment to her deceased husband.
I have known mothers greatly advanced in years make interest for their daughters on such occasions, and generally with success.
Indeed, nothing can exceed their solicitude at such times, particularly if the deceased was their own son.
These suits are generally soon terminated: if the warrior approves of the overture, he readily and cheerfully assents to the proposal; and if otherwise, he postpones the consideration of the subject for another time: the meaning of which is, that the proposed alliance is not agreeable. Sometimes these offers are renewed through different channels, and the first decision is reversed; but in case it finally fails, the party making the offer usually sends presents to the rejecting one, as a token that no enmity exists, and that they wish for a continuance of friendly relations. Inter-
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marriages between families that are not on friendly terms, seldom take place: so that the opposition of parents is an obstacle not often experienced in the formation of these alliances, among the Indians. The chiefs generally bestow their children, particularly their daughters, in marriage, on such as they prefer. Sometimes they form alliances with the families of the chiefs of some of the neighbouring friendly tribes, but more frequently with the distinguished warriors and families of their own.
They, however, are never peremptory, and, when the proposed marriage is disagreeable, the parties are generally governed by their own inclinations.
When the preliminaries for a marriage have been agreed upon, which amount to nothing more than the conviction of the parents that a suitable attachment exists between the parties, and that they are qualified, competent, and willing, to perform their respective duties in the new relations they are about to form, the connections and friends of the parties are invited by the parents to attend the ceremony at the residence of the bride.
On this occasion, after the guests are assembled, the young Indian takes his intended by the wrist; occupies a central situation in regard to the party, and, in a standing position, candidly proclaims the affectionate attachment he entertains for her, promises to protect her and provide her with game, and at the same time presents her with some comparatively imperishable part of a buffalo, elk, deer, &c. as a pledge of his faithful performance. The female, on her part, makes a similar declaration of attachment; promises
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to cultivate the corn, &c.; transact the other offices of her station, and pledges the faithful performance, by presenting her husband an ear of corn, or some other article to which it becomes her province to attend. The new married couple are now greeted with the kind wishes of all present; and the remainder of the day, and a part, or the whole of the following night, is passed in feasting, mirth, and festivity.
The party separate as suits their inclination, leaving the young couple to receive the visits of those friends who could not attend, or were not invited to the wedding; a ceremony usually observed, to show, at least, that no hostile or inimical feelings exist. These visits are next returned, and, in fact, extended to all their relations and friends. After a few days have elapsed, more or less of the warriors or hunters, according to the respectability and standing of the recently married Indian, assemble and construct him a house or lodge, which is soon furnished with presents from their particular friends. The parties now remove to their new home, and enter upon the discharge of their respective duties.
No people enjoy more unalloyed pleasure at such meetings; and, though they frequently indulge to excess, they suffer less from their irregularities than the white people settled along their frontiers do on such occasions. Where they have no ardent spirits, they usually retire more orderly, and in better times.
In the marriage ceremonies there is considerable difference in the same tribe; and this difference is very much influenced by the age and condition of the parties. Sometimes it is performed by merely an exchange of
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pledges or tokens, similar to those above described, which, it may here be remarked, are carefully preserved as a record of their marriage. At other times, particularly where there is considerable disparity in the age of the parties, or where an Indian already has several wives, little or no ceremony is observed. The parties having come to an understanding, the new wife is provided with a separate lodge, as is uniformly the practice on such occasions, and the Indian makes as kind and provident a husband, as though the whole tribe had witnessed their union in the most formal manner.
It has already been remarked that the tribes bordering on the white settlements are anxious for, and encourage early marriages; by this, however, I do not mean to be understood that any relaxation of disposition exists among the tribes more remotely situated; but only that this disposition is procrastinated, till, in fact, the young men assume the character, and discharge, or are competent to discharge, the duties of the warrior. The motives which lead to it, also, spring from a widely different source. It is the strength, importance, and character of their tribe or nation, their ambition for a superior ascendancy in dominion and war, or the policy of those who are really weak to attempt to match the more powerful, that cause their old men particularly to advocate the early entrance into, and the continued maintenance of the marriage state, through all the changes to which they are liable, either from custom or the chances of war.
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These motives have been so long adhered to, that the habit has assumed the character of a sacred duty or obligation.
Experience has taught the Indians that this mode of life is most conducive to individual happiness, and to the objects to which they aspire; therefore, all who adopt it, are regarded with moral and natural feelings of pride. The squaw is esteemed in proportion to the number of the children she raises, particularly if they are males, and prove brave warriors; otherwise, she attracts no marked respect, and, should any of them act cowardly, she is openly charged with having been remiss in her duty as a mother, respecting their early education. When instances of this kind happen, disgrace is certain to follow, and the mother would a thousand times prefer to hear of the death of her son, than that he had acted cowardly in battle.
POLYGAMY.
The Indians, regarding themselves as the lords of the earth, look down upon the squaws as an inferior order of beings, especially given them by the Great Spirit, to rear up their families; to take charge of, and, with the exception of game, to provide for the household: and the squaws, accustomed to such usage, cheerfully acquiesce in it as a duty. To become the legitimate mother of a warrior, and to discharge the offices of a wife, are objects of the greatest solicitude with them; and to be disappointed in these respects is to them a subject of deep distress. This circumstance, joined to their warlike disposition and the
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necessity that consequently exists in the opinion of the Indians for constantly repairing the losses to which they are always liable, and which they frequently sustain, probably gave rise to the toleration of polygamy; at least, they appear to be proximate causes; though remotely, no doubt, it originated in arbitrary inclination or caprice.
The Indians in general have but one wife; though they, as well as the chiefs and distinguished warriors, may have more according to their inclination and ability to support their different families. They frequently amount to two or three, and sometimes to more. Cler-mont and Was-saw-be-ton-ga, each had four, and O-kon-now was remarkable for having six or seven. The wives of the former had about twenty children, and those of the latter seventeen or eighteen.
They construct lodges at a short distance one from another, for the accommodation of their different wives, who fulfil the respective duties of mother and wife separately, occasionally visit each other, and generally live on the most friendly terms. The chief or warrior takes up his residence with the one he most esteems, and only leaves her, to reside with the next in favour, during the periods of her pregnancy and lactation. The one with whom the husband resides, considers it her duty and interest, and is ambitious, to discharge all the offices pertaining to a wife, so far as regards his comfort and convenience; and any interference with her on the part of his other wives, except in case of sickness or inability, is regarded as a just cause for offence.
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Where any difference exists between the wives of an Indian, he is sometimes appealed to by the offended party; he does not, however, interfere in their affairs, but leaves them to settle their own disputes, which oftentimes terminate in his separating from some one of them.
DIVORCEMENTS.
As the Indians enter into the marriage state for the mutual happiness and comfort of the parties concerned, no obligation exists for remaining in it for a longer period than these objects are secured. they say, whenever a continuance in this state becomes disagreeable to either one or both, the purposes of the original contract are defeated; and instead of its being a source, it is the very bane of happiness, and renders the parties miserable: a result contrary to the design of all contracts; which are, or ought to be made for their mutual benefit, instead of the reverse.
They, therefore, neither feel any compunction, nor find any difficulty from their companions or connections, in effecting a separation whenever such a measure has a tendency to gratify their inclinations, or promote their happiness. But, independent of these notions, they possess, and are governed in these transactions by more elevated motives. They generally regard every circumstance of their lives as influenced by two orders of supernatural beings, viz. Good and Bad Spirits, which have already been noticed under an appropriate head. To these they ascribe the immediate
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agency of all their happiness and misery, all their pleasures and pain.
Therefore, whenever the men or women, for in instances of this kind there is no exclusive privilege, are dissatisfied or unhappy with their matrimonial companion, they place it to the account of some malign spirit, which, they say, takes delight in tormenting them, and will not cease so long as they continue to maintain their present condition, and hence do not suffer much time to elapse before they effect a separation.
An Indian, when about to leave his wife, conducts himself very distantly towards her; goes on his hunting or other excursions without naming them, or the time of his return; maintains a sullen silence towards his own connections, but most generally hints his dissatisfaction to those of his wife. During this time, if a separation should be disagreeable to this companion, she appears exceedingly solicitous to atone for any misconduct of her own, and uses every possible means in her power to conciliate her husband, and regain his affections and regard, which very frequently are attended with the sought-for result: but should she fail in her endeavours, her husband, after burying the pledge he received at their marriage, deserts her altogether, and never after is heard to mention her name. She is branded as a bad squaw, but, nevertheless, soon finds another husband, to whom she usually proves an excellent wife, to avoid, perhaps, the repetition of a similar mortification and suffering. Repudiated squaws are more anxious to marry than any others, in order to do away with the dis-
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grace they are conceived to labour under. On occasions of this kind the squaw is left in possession of the lodge, &c., and generally of all the children, though the husband sometimes takes one or two of the boys, provided they are of a sufficient size not to require the further care of a mother.
Separations are, however, very rare, especially after the parents have much of a family. After separating, the husband usually goes on a long hunting excursion, or visits a neighbouring tribe. And even thus late I have known successful overtures to a reconciliation, made either by the wife or some of her friends, and the husband to return again to his family. Such instances, however, do not often occur; he most frequently returns to his tribe, and forms a new connection; though sometimes he intermarries and incorporates himself with some other.
When a chief or distinguished warrior parts with his wife, attempts at reconciliation are not frequently made; because the wife having in the discharge of her duties exhausted every effort to obtain or maintain a preference in the good opinion of her husband, has few resources left to bring into operation on these extraordinary occasions. Nevertheless, there are some exceptions, in which they have been known to restore their repudiated wives to favour. Usually they exercise less ceremony, and appear to feel less, than the other Indians do on similar occasions.
These circumstances may be plausibly accounted for, in the greater facility they find in procuring wives, and in the greater number they possess.
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When a female is disposed to leave her husband, she burns or destroys the pledge she has received at her wedding, deserts his lodge, and returns with her family and effects to her parents, or some of her near relations. Under such circumstances she finds no difficulty in marrying again, and in general she soon commences the duties of a wife, under the protection of another husband.
Jealousy is a passion but little known, and much less indulged, among the Indians. Their principal causes for divorcements are indolence, intemperance, cowardice, impotence, and sterility. I have never known a single instance of either the two last, and their existence must be exceedingly rare.
OF CONTINUING FAMILIES, AND ADOPTION OF CHILDREN AND OTHERS.
Whenever a distinguished warrior falls in battle, or otherwise, it is considered a great privilege to marry his squaw; and whoever does, is obliged to assume the name of her former husband, and to sustain, as far as possible, his reputation and character. This custom of continuing families is indulged to a considerable extent; sometimes the brother of the deceased becomes the husband; but the most frequent source of continuance is from the prisoners taken in battle, who, but for this kind of preferment, are generally condemned to suffer tortures and death.
The squaw who has lost her husband, makes the election herself; the warrior thus chosen generally accedes to the offer, assumes the name of the deceased, and attaches himself to his new wife, and to her tribe:
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sometimes, however, he rejects the overture, and in preference magnanimously, as he supposes, submits to the tortures and persecutions of his tormentors, among the foremost of which the slighted and offended squaw is often found.
The motives of the Indians for keeping up families, originate in part in the respect entertained for the deceased, but much more in policy; for by the custom fecundity is promoted, and a kind of provision secured to the sufferers, which does not in any way encroach on the public interests or solicitude: besides, it removes all apprehensions for family welfare and happiness from the mind of the warrior, who thus circumstanced, and otherwise conformably educated, goes to battle under the strongest belief that no change, except that of disgrace, can possibly happen to him for the worse. But, nevertheless, they are as sincerely attached to, and feel as great interest and solicitude for their families as any other people whatever; and I am convinced would, were it not for their customs, be influenced on their account in times of peril, so as materially to alter their warlike characters.
The young Indians are regarded as national property; as the source from which all their losses in war, or otherwise, are to be repaired, and by which they are to maintain their importance, or arrive at greater distinction. Hence, they engross the most earnest attention and care of those who have entered upon the active duties of war and the chace. In fact, a solicitude is manifested even before birth, in respect to sex; and this increases according to circumstances, till the
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character be developed in manhood. This interest for the young males, connected with the objects above noticed, has many important bearings on the customs of the Indians. It removes from obloquy those females who become parents out of wedlock; it prevents, in a great degree, the procurement of abortions; and it is also the reason why the children and women taken prisoners are preserved, and adopted, especially into such families among their captors as have lost any of their numbers, either by sickness or war.
This is done without much ceremony; some trifling presents are generally made them, and in common they receive names similar to those for whom they have been substituted.
They mutually make promises of love and regard for each other, which in general they faithfully perform, and appear to become as sincerely attached, as though they were really connected by consanguinity. The adopted warriors nevertheless sometimes abscond, but should they afterwards be taken in arms fighting against their adopted tribe, their lives most generally atone for the offence.
OF INDIAN NAMES.
Since the Indians are so scrupulous in keeping up families, it appears somewhat singular that they should all be distinguished by their maternal names, till some act of prowess, intrepidity, or skill, entitles them to others of their own choice.
But, apart from the natural propriety, it must on reflection be acknowledged judicious; because it
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elicits a very early ambition in youth, to create by their own efforts meritorious names for themselves; which are generally changed for others on the occurrence of some remarkable incidents, and serve as so many records of the bravery and worth of respective families; circumstances that are particularly regarded by the chiefs and respectable warriors, when they make choice of wives.
In the cowardice or bad conduct of an Indian, his mother, sister, or daughter suffers in a degree, and their chances for a respectable marriage are diminished; because the Indians think that good and bad qualities may be both inherited and entailed, though, as before observed, with proper management, they think that their faults may be wholly corrected. The blame in such instances is charged on the squaws, who are accused with a negligence of duty towards their children in early life, and, probably, on pretty good grounds. For the Indians, who are nice observers, say, that a squaw who loves her country and reputation, and does her duty, can never be the mother of a bad Indian.
The Indians, as just noticed, are known frequently to change their own names as they grow older, and incidents of sufficient consequence occur to justify the measure; and sometimes names are bestowed by common consent, on characters either notoriously good or bad. But in all cases, they are intended as representations or remembrances of the particular events, qualities, or actions, of particular individuals, and in general they are appropriate and judicious.
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DISPOSITION OF THE INFIRM AND POOR.
Each warrior makes provision for the aged, infirm, and needy, which are nearly related to him; and, where it is not wholly beyond his power, for those also more remotely connected. This, in general, is not a severe duty, since the hunters divide their game, when this form is observed, in proportion to the individuals of each family.
They are very assiduous and attentive to the wants and comforts particularly of the aged, and kind to all who require their assistance. And an Indian who failed in these respects, though he otherwise merited esteem, would be neglected and despised. To the credit of their morals few such are to be found, except where debauched by the vices of the white people.
Whenever the helpless are too numerous for their natural protectors, they are distributed in the same manner that is observed in respect to their orphans, as will presently be noticed.
Women who have not been married, and those who have separated from, or lost their husbands, live with or return to their parents or connections, where they assist in the ordinary duties of the females. The children of such generally accompany their mothers; but orphan children are adopted into other families, and virtually become constituent members of them.
Whenever a widowed mother sickens and is considered to be in danger, the warriors, immediately related to her, exhibit great concern for her children; take them to their lodges; and, in case of her death,
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adopt and bring them up. But should there be no relations, there is always a sufficient number of applicants, and generally from the most respectable of the tribe, who adopt and bring them up as their own.
Where such individuals are adopted into families, a mutual confidence is sure to follow; and the same respectful attentions, obedience, and affections, appear to exist between the factitious, as is common among the natural members.